• 17:25 Knitting for RPG geeks: tinyurl.com/ysho94 #

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• 05:27 Ugh. This sleeping three hours at a time BS has got to stop. #
• 11:42 @MelissaFrancis If it's a small press, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Another top name publisher? That'd be a different story. #
• 11:43 @MelissaFrancis ooh. If it's POD, then it's almost certainly nothing to worry about. Keep us posted! #
• 11:44 Mmm. Love being woken up by horny male. Yum. #
• 11:44 @allikat *passes caffeine and MSM creme* #
• 15:45 @allikat I didn't know they made refillable ones. o.O #
• 15:46 @LisaBradley Woot. Have fun, and give her a big hug from me! #
• 15:47 @savvyone That's always a dilemma. Unfortunately, there's a lot of people that just don't want to be saved... #
• 18:07 @Romantic_Heretc Yes... yes, it can. There's a reason I don't do much of it. >.> #
• 18:21 @savvyone Oh gahhh. Yeah, that's even worse. (My half-brother is a druggie who has ruined his life beyond repair. I kinda understand...) #
• 18:25 @allikat Huh. Usually the more expensive pens tend to be top-heavy, which hurts my hands badly. :-\ #
• 20:25 @lillianfeisty Percoset and Ultram are safe to take together, yes. :) #
• 20:26 @DaynaHart *hugs* #

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Merry Solstice or Litha for those who celebrate it. :)

For everyone else, have a great day. ;)

• 14:47 So. Using the word #
• 15:32 Argh. Twitterlicious sucks. Lemme retype that tweet. #
• 15:57 Twitter is being a pain in my ass. #

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The doctors let Dark out of sedation this afternoon. She's still in a lot of pain, even through the morphine, and minor fractures in her arm are added to the list of injuries... but I think she'll be okay. She's tired a lot still (no surprise), but she still has her sardonic attitude. Her commentary on the whole thing? "I've recently come to the conclusion that I have more bad luck than a kitten farm for black kitties, a step-ladder store, and all of the Friday the 13th's in history combined. On the plus side, I have also concluded that I must be frelling immortal because I'm still around to talk about it."

Given the extent of her injuries, I expect she'll be in the hospital for awhile yet, but I think she's out of the worst of it. Thank you so much, everyone, for your thoughts, prayers, candles, and so forth. I very much appreciate it. **hugs**

I got an update from my girlfriend's family a little while ago. She is better stabilized, and the doctors think she's going to be okay. She has broken ribs, a fractured leg, some internal damage (this is what concerns me most, with her severe anemia), and a bone bruise on her shoulder.

*deep breath* I think she'll pull through. I hope she will.

I... don't know where I'd be if I lost her...

I just found out that my girlfriend was in an accident. She and her (other) girlfriend were crossing the street, and a car ran a red light and hit her. The hospital has her stabilized, but we don't have any further news. They sent her friends and family home until they know more.

I'm scared as hell. She lives halfway across the country from me, we only have one functional car, and I suspect that if I tried to make that kind of drive, it wouldn't. We don't have the money for airfare. I know that I'll get updates as soon as they have them, but I want ... I wish ... I could be there for her ... and I can't. And I'm terrified that she might not make it.

Good thoughts / prayers / candles / etc. welcome and appreciated. We all could use them.

• 07:48 ZOMG. It's actually.... only 69 degrees in the house. YAY. (Now we see how this holds up the rest of the day.....) #
• 09:28 Oy. Gotta love when ghosts from the past reappear... #

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I've mentioned this from time to time, but it's really come to a head lately with various posts and threads. I've had people tell me that a feminist should not use certain language. I've been insulted and told that I was nothing more than a Stepford Wife because I disagreed. I've been told that I should "get what's coming to me" -- i.e., be raped -- because I don't share the fear mentality that many women have. I have been told that I shouldn't wear provocative clothing or skirts because I am thus aiding in furthering patriarchal oppression.

And more, but I don't feel like listing it all.

I invite you to read this thread from naamah_darling's blog, and then this post and comments from stormerider.

I believe in equality for women and men, but I do not believe that men and women are the same. That assumption is fallacious. Look at the mounds of studies done on the subject. It's pretty damn well scientifically proven that men and women are different, and it goes way beyond physicality alone.

I think it's fine to use gendered words, like "bitch" and "dick." I call myself a bitch, and sorry, but that's not going to change anytime soon. This does not make me a sexist. Sorry.

I don't automatically assume that because someone is male, they are "privileged" and thus have no idea what many women go through on a daily basis. There are men that, believe it or not, do understand. I don't feel the need to "educate" every man I come across. Sure, there are plenty of men that feel they are entitled to have whatever the fuck they want, but you know what? They're assholes. I don't waste my time on assholes.

I don't walk in fear. I know there are women that have had horrible experiences with men on a regular basis. My girlfriend is one of them. What she has been subjected to is utterly horrifying, to the point I am amazed she can even hold a normal conversation with a male without freaking. But -- I haven't. There are women that paint a picture of fear, that anytime we go outside our house, even just to get groceries, we expect that we might be raped or worse, because men see us as objects and nothing more. That even in the smallest ways, they oppress us.

I have a lot of sympathy for rape and sexual abuse survivors. Like I said, my girlfriend is one, and a lot of my friends are, too. But I don't like the idea that because that shit happens, we should walk in fear. I am aware of the possibility, and I don't put myself in situations where that is not only a possibility but a probability. I am cautious.

But I do not fear.

If it happens? It happens. And if it does, I'll deal with it then.

But I'm not going to spend the rest of my life afraid every time I leave my house. I grew up with my father telling me on a near daily basis that if I wasn't careful, if I wore clothing that even hinted at my body, if I spoke to a man, if I met his eyes, if I did this or that or the other...then I would end up raped. Because all men want from women is sex, and they will take it by force if necessary.

I won't live like that. I can't.

The picture that many feminists paint of the female world is -- bleak. For many of them, it is their reality. But it is not mine. I don't discount what they have gone through, but I feel sad that so many choose to respond in such a way. I feel pity that some feel it necessary to wish harm upon another woman simply because she hasn't experienced what they have. And I feel desolate that this reality is what they would portray as the only real and valid one. Because it's not.

I don't like most men. After years of conditioning from my father, I distrust them, and it is very difficult for me to get close to them. But I don't hate them. I don't loathe them. And I hate the way I have seen them treated by some feminists. I wouldn't treat a dog the way I saw my husband treated.

Yes, I understand that not all feminists are like this or are of these beliefs. But I have seen, and been the victim of, far too much bitterness turned to stale hatred. I have come across far too many of them. Perhaps they are the vocal minority, but often they are the public face. I won't be associated with that. I will not have people assume that I am.... that.

I know there are feminists who fight the image, and more power to them. I really do support you guys. I just haven't the energy for that battle myself.

Some things just piss me off.

Like this article.

OK. I don't recognize most of the names mentioned. I looked up several, and they are virtually all "literary SF/F" authors. Since I don't like the vast majority of literary SF/F, this isn't surprising. There are some authors mentioned that I do recognize, like Vicki Petterrson (ye gods, I had to look up how to spell her last name), Elizabeth Bear, Mario Acevedo, Naomi Novik, and a few others. But the majority? Literary.

So I look over who's actually saying this, and most of them (with the exceptions of Paula Guran, Diana Gill, and Colleen Lindsay) are SF/F magazine editors, or something related to such. Considering that I've stopped submitting my short work to magazines and e-zines because virtually all of the well-paying ones want literary (or else have 1yr+ response times), this doesn't surprise me too much.

Then I get to the bottom, and see "The Top 18 Genre Authors To Keep an Eye On":

• Paolo Bacigalupi (4 mentions)
• Darryl Gregory (4)
• Benjamin Rosenbaum (3 mentions)
• Cory Doctorow (3)
• Jay Lake (3)
• David Moles (3)
• Chris Roberson (3)
• Vandana Singh (3)
• Elizabeth Bear (2 mentions)
• Alan DeNiro (2)
• Alex Irvine (2)
• Ted Kosmatka (2)
• Paul Melko (2)
• Naomi Novik (2)
• Tim Pratt (2)
• Jason Stoddard (2)
• Karen Traviss (2)
• Scott Westerfeld (2)

Um.

Out of 18 authors, only 4 are female. Considering the vast number of female authors publishing in Science Fiction as well as Fantasy these days? I'm more than a little peeved, because lists with this sort of gender dichotomy were common 20 years ago. That it continues to this day, to the point that several people will point out the lack of female nominees in the Nebula Awards, is sick. What is this, the 21st century version of the Old Boy's Club?

(Note: Regarding my "I'm not a feminist" comment... I'll explain that in more detail in a later post.)

Since it's been going around LJ...

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:
1. one weapon
2. one song blasting on the speakers
3. one famous person to fight alongside you (real or fictional)

1. A double-ended sword, something like a Klingon bat'leth.
2. Within Temptation, "See Who I Am." This is not the end!
3. Lucivar Yaslana, from the Black Jewels universe. Because, just, duh.

Book pimping, that is. ;)

My best friend and critique partner, Dayna Hart, has a new release out today. It's in eBook format, and cheap (oh how important that is right now...), so if y'all like faery stories reminiscient of Charles de Lint... please, take a couple minutes to check this one out. :)

Now, the official blurbage...


A cult of sex faeries start taking men hostage…including Claire’s boyfriend.

Book Two of the Curtain Torn Series

When Myrna Terrence’s husband is abducted from her dream by fairies, she asks Claire for help. Claire investigates and discovers other married men of Four Corners have been kidnapped. Men who share enough similarities to suggest the kidnappings may be related.

She learns the abductions are the work of The Aeval, a cult of sex faeries whose mission is to ensure women are pleasured by their husbands. Dell decides he and Claire should go under cover—under the covers. By pretending to be a married couple who are having trouble in bed, they hope to lure The Aeval to them.

The plan works almost too well. They don’t have to fake the chemistry between them, nor the resulting frustration when they stop themselves from going too far. The Aeval take the bait, and Claire must confront a goddess, the truth, and her fears about Dell in an effort to save his life.

But if she succeeds, those same truths may be what sends him out of her life forever.

Warning: this title contains the following: hot nekkid men with wings, regular nudity, and prolonged sexual tension followed—finally—by explicit sex. And the faeries who punish husbands for not “pleasing” their wives are entirely fictional (sorry!).

Excerpt available...here

And you can buy it here

My addendum: If you haven't read the first one -- DO. I don't normally like novellas, because (no offense) most authors try to either a) fit a novel into a shorter length and I feel like the story isn't complete, or b) they expand what should be a short story with meaningless filler. Such is not the case here. Check out Go Between here for blurb, excerpt, and buy link, should you be so inclined. :)

Second addendum: I am so jealous of her cover. ^_^

• 19:35 woot! my blood elf hunter dinged 62! #

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• 02:39 Back from visiting friends. Had lots of fun. I crash now. Nighty-night. #
• 09:12 RAS CAME HOME!!!!!! :D #
• 15:53 *whimpers* ninety-seven degrees.... and muggy.... can I die now, please? #

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Apparently, I am both a bigot and a sexist because I think that under certain circumstances, it's okay to call a woman (or a man, for that matter) a bitch. Nevermind the fact that I'll readily refer to myself as one. I'm still a fucking bigot.

And people wonder why the hell I refuse to call myself a feminist? Sorry, but I'll slit my own wrists before I ever have myself associated with that manner of hypersensitive self-righteous bullshit.

Yes.

Top of the list would be the woman who told stormerider and myself that she loved us, while telling mutual friends that I was stalking her. That wasn't the only issue, but it was the one that I couldn't come up with any reasonable explanation or excuse for. The other stuff could have just been miscommunication, but not that.

I don't trust easily. Once my trust has been broken, it's damn hard to earn it back. "I'm sorry" is all well and good, but actions speak louder than words. If all I hear is "I'm sorry" with no real proof of remorse or willingness to rectify what happened... that's not good enough.

Screw it. I have so had it with the utter and complete bullshit of this situation.

Backstory for everyone who isn't in the know. Back in February/March-ish, dhanwanti approached myself and the males about staying with us for a couple months come June, because she's in the process of a divorce and was not having much luck finding an apartment that she could afford. Since she'd been good friends with the guys for about ten years, we agreed without hesitation.

After some discussion, I got an idea. Our landlord has a house in Attleboro with a bad tenant. It's in a bit of a sticky situation at the moment, but I suggested that since we want a larger place and she would want a larger place, we could look at moving in there together once he gets the current tenant out. We talked, I thought, at great length and agreed that the idea would be perfect.

Mid-April, dhanwanti tells me that she's spoken with several other people and is looking at purchasing a house that has been converted into a five unit apartment building. Um. In the time that she had to organize people going to view this house, we heard nothing -- and we had been making plans with her for at least a month and I believe more. This came out of left field, and we were quite upset, as the last thing we want is to live in an apartment in the middle of the fucking city.

stormerider wrote her an e-mail toward the end of April explaining how he felt. She's been justifiably busy, and I suspect trying to sort out emotions, so I'm not terribly upset about the time it took to respond. I am, however, extremely upset about the response, and following the cut, I am going to respond point by point to this e-mail.

For those who are connected to the situation or otherwise involved, I don't expect anybody to take sides. I'm posting this publicly in a good part because I know for a fact that dhanwanti has said things to others about what we have said regarding certain things that are not accurate. I think this is misinterpretation, however, I'm through with it. If you don't want to deal with the drama, don't read behind the cut. If you want to see the other side of the story,

Right, so I'm dealing with a nasty fibro flare from way overdoing it last week and this weekend. (My mom was in town, and then we went up to Maine for a family reunion. More about that later, if I can remember to get around to writing it.) I ended up having to take way more medication than normal to get functional... 

Then my net goes out.

Not the whole net. Just my computer. It's been doing this lately, disconnecting for no reason, but it will be fine after a restart. Yes, I've already done spyware and antivirus scans, and that all came up clean. Drake is looking at it right now and doing various driver updates, in case it's possibly something related to that. Though why this problem would start in the past couple weeks, I haven't the foggiest.

I figure, great. My computer's down for the count while he works on it. So I'll steal Morgan's since he's at work and hop back into the Romance Divas chat to get some words in.

Except.... Romance Divas goes down. Has been down for about 15 minutes now. WTF? I'll be pestering birdie when he gets back to his keyboard to look into it, since he's a tech admin there.

Grack! And his keyboard hurts. Apparently I'm fighting a flare-up of the tendinitis, too. Joy.

The universe hates me.

*headdesk*

It's not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words

How blind can you be, don't you see
How blind can you be, don't you see
That the gambler lost all he does not have

Did you ever hear what I told you
Did you ever read what I wrote you
Did you ever listen to what we played
Did you ever let in what the world said
Did we get this far just to feel your hate
Did we play to become only pawns in the game
How blind can you be, don't you see
You chose the long road but we'll be waiting

Bye bye beautiful
Bye bye beautiful

-- Nightwish